When Comparison Steals Your Confidence

My finger hovered over the “deactivate account” button with slight hesitation. Is this extreme? Is this necessary? Will I feel disconnected? After asking myself these questions and debating for a few minutes, I finally decided this was crucial for my spiritual health. Well, sweet friend, it has been six years since I tapped that button and my Facebook account is still deactivated. Before I proceed, I do understand that social media can be a significant ministry tool the Lord uses to reach and bless others; that was the hope and intention of starting this blog. Nevertheless, we must also recognize that social media can be a tactic used by Satan to spur division and bring about destruction. For me personally, six years ago, social media had become a slippery slope of comparison that often left me feeling anything but confident.

Comparison is something I struggled with off and on since I was a young girl. Whether I was in a school classroom, on a church pew, or playing on a diamond-shaped field, I found myself comparing my physical appearance, intellect, and athletic abilities to girls I called my friends. As the years spanned from being a teenager to a young adult I learned just how entangling the comparison trap would be and what it would cost me. Comparison is one of those things that appears seemingly harmless but has the potential to derail your purpose, devalue your worth, and steal your confidence. Sweet friend, have you been entangled in that same trap? Can you relate? When I think about comparison I am reminded of the two women we read about in Genesis chapters 29 and 30. Leah and Rachel were sisters pitted against one another due to the deceiving actions of their father. The story here is full of lies, deception, and manipulation; essentially a lifetime movie. We learn from scripture that Leah was older than Rachel and had “weak eyes” while Rachel was younger and described as having “a lovely figure and was beautiful". Jacob loved and desired to marry Rachel and believed that to be his reward after working for her father, Laban seven years. Unfortunately for Jacob, Laban had other plans and gave away a veiled Leah to Jacob at night in trickery. As a result, Jacob was not a happy husband and called Laban out on his deception. After what I imagine to be a heated argument, Laban agreed to give Jacob his daughter Rachel as long as Jacob agreed to work for Laban an additional seven years. Jacob agreed to these terms and received Rachel as his wife one week after marrying her sister; let the pitting continue. Rachel was Jacob’s beloved, but it was Leah who initially provided Jacob with son after son. Leah compared Jacob’s lack of love for her to the full love he had for her sister, causing her to feel less than. Rachel compared her sister’s ability to bear Jacob's children with her initial inability, causing her to feel inadequate. Each compared themselves to the other and desired what the other had, which only fueled their jealousy for one another, amplified their insecurity, and prompted selfish decisions. Despite all of this, the beautiful part is when God intervenes on behalf of these broken women. He sees them (Gen 29:31), He hears them (Gen 30:17), and He remembers them (Gen 30:22). Sweet friend, as believers we are called to be imitators of Christ, He is to be our standard of how we live, not anyone else. 2 Corinthians 10:12 tells us, “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” Comparison can be rooted in several things: insecurity, rejection, fear, etc. Instead of being stuck in comparison, Jesus desires for us to stand with confidence in Him and who He created us to be. He knitted you in your mother’s womb with intention and calls you fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). He chose to save you and has placed a unique calling on your life as His daughter. He is faithful and will finish the good work he started within you (Philippians 1:6). You see, our personal relationship with Jesus changes everything! Sweet friend, we must quit being a second-rate version of someone else. Instead, we must be the complete version of who God calls us to be with the confidence that comes from knowing Him, trusting him, and following Him. “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him” Jeremiah 17:7.