Breakthrough

The air was unusually humid for a February morning. Beckoning the caffeine of my coke zero, I hugged my mom bye and drove out of my parents' driveway. Solo road trips tend to usher in spaces to pause and reflect on things happening internally and externally. Thankfully, Jesus isn’t scared of my driving! Whether it was routinely driving a four-hour distance to LSU eleven years ago or currently driving the two-and-a-half hours to Mississippi, he meets me in the thick of it all.

As the black sky transitioned to gray, the blanket of dense clouds swirling above me became more apparent. It seemed appropriate for the heaviness my heart felt. I thoroughly enjoy going home to Louisiana and seeing my loved ones, but when the trip is to honor a loved one being buried, it hits differently. Starting the new year with an earthly goodbye feels unfair, but two earthly goodbyes before spring seem cruel! Sweet friend, grief is hard. Growing older has a way of magnifying the inevitable. Earthly bodies are designed to be a temporary dwelling place, yet we hold on to them tighter than a pair of Spanx. It feels abnormal to let go of those you deeply love and who occupy such a central part of your life. Sickness and suffering are common themes in my line of work. However, when those two things rear their ugly head in a hospital bed where your papaw resides, you become disoriented and struggle to make sense of it all. Honestly, I don't know which part is harder, mourning a beloved grandfather or watching a parent mourn the loss of their dad. Sweet friend, our minds are finite, unable to fully comprehend the soul-crushing suffering and tragedy that occurs in this earthly life. As believers, we will all experience the fullness of God in heaven one day, but until that time comes, our perspective will always be limited in this earthly realm. In that, I allow myself the grace and space to grieve, but I also recognize because of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I can grieve with hope. The hope of where my loved ones are, assurance that this earthy suffering is not the end, and hope of what is to come. 2 Corinthians 4:17 tells us, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” After processing, reflecting, and spilling hot tears at my steering wheel, I approached the Mississippi river bridge. Typically it’s the river that captures my attention. However, this particular morning it was the blanket of dense overcast clouds breaking open, allowing streams of golden yellow, burnt orange, and fiery red to burst through and illuminate all that it surrounded. At that moment, comfort and peace indescribably washed over me. Sweet friend, our Heavenly Father sees and cares for us in broken places where our pain runs deep. Psalm 34:18 tells us, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Even in the midst of our hurt and sorrow, God is always there to provide the breakthrough we so desperately need.