Sexually Protecting Our Children in a “Cuties” Culture

As odd as it may sound, I hope that while reading this blog post sweet friend, you become

unsettled and appalled, but most of all informed and ignited with a passion to provoke change! As a medical social worker in a pediatric emergency department, I encounter heavy, heart-wrenching cases weekly. When I took my position in 2016, I was not even close to prepared for the amount of child sexual abuse cases I would come across. The 7-year-old girl trafficked for drugs by her mother, the 9-year-old boy sexually assaulted by his bus driver, the 16-year-old lured out of her home by an online predator…these are just a few of the cases I have encountered. I have always had a passion advocating for vulnerable populations, especially children, but this job has amplified that passion and has shown me the evils of this world I struggle daily to make sense of.

I recently became aware and educated on a movie released on Netflix called “Cuties”. If you are not aware of this movie, I would ask that you educate yourself on what it promotes/portrays; without watching it. This movie was directed by a woman who stated her purpose was to highlight the hypersexualization and femininity pressures young girls today face and to fight against it. Under normal circumstances, I would support such a purpose, but the issue is this movie does just the opposite. Instead of highlighting and fighting against this issue in a way that is moral, edifying, and with cautious regard to pedophilia/child sexual abuse, it explicitly exploits and hypersexualizes several 11-year-old girls throughout the movie. These 11-year-old CHILDREN are dressed in inappropriate oversexualized clothing, choreographed to dance provocatively, scripted to have sexually explicit age-inappropriate conversations, and directed to expose themselves in an attempt to gain social media attention/fame. In the process of highlighting and fighting this battle, the director/producers/crew members/and parents of these young girls have victimized the exact population they state they are trying to protect. Some of the images are so explicit in this movie that it is rated M for mature audiences. Sweet friend as believers this should rock us to our core! As parents with children, this should horrify us and cause us concern!

As a professional who sees firsthand the acute and long-term effects of child exploitation, sexual abuse, and human trafficking this utterly crushes my heart and makes me physically ill. The fact that this movie was purposely made and placed on television to be so easily accessible for anyone/everyone is inconceivable. Regardless of the intention behind this movie, how it portrays these young girls is a child predators dream come true; this is the hard but honest realization of the world we are living in. I realize on a large scale it may seem daunting on how to combat this type of evil but sweet friend, we have a part to play in this fight! Prayer is one of the biggest yet simplest ways we can all take part in battling against this sin that is all too prevalent. Prayer is one of our fiercest weapons against the enemy, may we never diminish its role! 1 John 5:14-15 tells us, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

As difficult as it is to open our eyes and have the hard conversations regarding the sexual risk our children are at in today’s world, it is NECESSARY! Sweet friend, we cannot choose to believe this does not exist or decide it is too weighty to direct our attention to. You know the expression “knowledge is power”? Well, when we educate and inform ourselves and our children (age-appropriately) on this content it empowers us to be prepared in combating it. Just to give you a small glimpse of this issue, and I do mean small, I have inserted some statistics from credible websites that track cases of child sexual abuse.

Per the CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Darkness to Light organization:

1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys experience child sexual abuse at some point in childhood

90% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child or child’s family knows.

Foster children are 10 times more likely to be sexually abused

Children at highest risk are those who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner, these children are 20 times more likely to be victims

Only 38% of children report sexual abuse

Juveniles(who not always but often have been victims of sexual abuse themselves) are offenders in 43% of assaults on children under 6

Sexual Assaults on children are most likely to occur at 8 am, 12 pm, and between 3-4 pm. For children ages 12-17 there is also a peak in the late evening hours

9% of all 10-17-year-olds receive unwanted sexual requests while on the internet

Over 1 year, 1 in 25 youth received an online sexual solicitation where a solicitor tried to make offline contact 23% of all 10-17-year-old experience unwanted exposure to pornography 75% of child pornography victims are living at home when photographed; parents are often responsible

Females exposed to child sexual abuse are at a 2-13 times increased risk of sexual victimization in adulthood

The odds for attempting suicide is 6 times higher for men and 9 times higher for women with a history of child sexual abuse 25% of human trafficking victims are children (non-white children are 4 times more likely to be trafficked)

These statistics are staggering and show there is significant work to be done in preventing child sexual abuse. Children’s brains are still developing which makes them vulnerable. They depend on their parents, caregivers, and trusted adults for safety, guidance, and resources. “Groomers” violate this trust and use it to manipulate, exploit, and sexually abuse children. They use secrecy, blame, and threats to maintain control over their victims. People assume these sexual predators are strangers lurking in the shadows, but the majority of them are known, trusted, and can often be revered in society. We have seen first hand how people in positions of leadership with children can abuse their authority; so we must be diligent in educating our children of what is appropriate.

As parents, we must be intentional in fostering progressive, age-appropriate conversations with our children regarding body boundaries, media content, and good touch-bad touch. We need to teach our children how God designed their bodies as well as sex and allow them to ask questions freely without embarrassment, shame, or fear. We need to be wise in what we allow our children to watch, the social media accounts we allow our children to engage in, and WHO we are allowing our children to be supervised by. As a professional who works with numerous children who are victims of sexual abuse, I would urge not only parents but teachers, coaches, counselors, church leaders, and authority figures to become knowledgeable in how you can best advocate for the sexual safety of the children in your sphere. Below you will find a couple of resources I believe can help educate and lead us to all become better advocates against this evil.

Sweet friend, I understand this blog was weighty and possibly difficult to read; especially if you or someone close to you was a victim of child sexual abuse. I want to remind us that although this evil occurs in our sinful broken world, we can have hope that our Sovereign Father will have the final say and judgment. John 16:33 tells us “I have told you you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” May we remember that the tribulations of this world are temporary and one day every evil will be wiped from this earth and as believers, we will reign with Him in glory where there will be no pain, no suffering, and no evil! I don’t know about you sweet friend, but I look forward to when that day comes!

Resources

https://www.d2l.org/ : Darkness to Light Website- Educates adults on preventing child sexual abuse. Offers online training for $10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDxpOcg8adM : Video testimonials from adult survivors

https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2013/01/07/8-ways-to-protect-your-children-from-sexual-abuse/ : Helpful tips for protecting children against sexual abuse

https://books.thedisciplemaker.org/godsdesignforsex-2/ : Biblical view of sexuality, a parent's guide for children