The Power of Presence

My best friend recently lost her dad to his short battle with cancer. Our parents have been tighter than a pair of Spanx since before we were born so it was only natural she and I be best friends. In elementary our childhood dreams came true when her family built a house across the street from mine. All of our family vacations were spent together; needless to say, his death has been a devastating loss for her family as well as mine. Webster defines grief as “a deep sadness caused especially by someone’s death”. Death and grief unfortunately cannot be evaded, they both have a role in this broken and sinful world we live in. Grief is raw, vulnerable, exhausting, and often without bounds. Let’s face it, grief is HARD and can make people uncomfortable. Some of those people avoid uncomfortable therefore they never acknowledge grief. Others show up and with the best of intentions, rattle off the first thing that pops into their mind (and if we are honest it’s not always helpful) because they can’t bare the silence. Then you have those individuals who show up and sit silently in that uncomfortable space because they know there is power in presence. And if that person just happens to bring some sort of delicious dessert when they show up well so be it!

One of my roles as a social worker in a pediatric emergency department is to help physicians break the most dreaded news no parent ever wants to be told; “I’m so sorry, we did everything we could but your child did not make it”. Nothing can adequately prepare someone to receive or provide that type of life-altering news. At that moment I know there is absolutely nothing I can say that will alleviate that parent’s gut-wrenching, heart-breaking pain. Instead, I sit there with them, hold them, and allow them to cry, scream, curse, and bang on furniture/walls as long as they are not hurting themselves or someone else. Keeping it together is NOT an option so I don’t pretend it is. Grief is HARD!

Now before I proceed let me be very clear about one thing, I am by NO measure an expert in grief. I have education on grief and I have experience with grief but the Lord is continually humbling me in this area of life and teaching me. When parents ask the hard question of “why?” I do not pretend to know or understand because my mind is finite and only HE holds the answers. Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"

Our human minds may not be able to comprehend or make sense of tragedy, death, and grief but we can find comfort knowing we serve a God who is sovereign and trustworthy. Maybe you have been or are currently in a season of grieving. Whether you are grieving a loved one, a marriage, a job, or a special occasion that looks vastly different right now you are not alone sweet friend. You have a Heavenly Father who sees you, cares for you, and is collecting every single one of your tears. He is PRESENT amid your pain and He will sustain you.