Loving Your Spouse in a Way That Honors Jesus
- rachelntillman
- Jul 25, 2021
- 4 min read
Marriage is one of those things I pretended not to fantasize about as a pre-teen/teenage girl. However one can only watch so many teen romance movies like A Walk to Remember, Notebook, and A Cinderella Story before you start lying in bed at night dreaming of your own romantic fairy-tale. The fairy-tale always began with identifying the boy I had a crush on, pretending he liked me too, then stating his last name as my own as I dreamed about us getting married, living on a farm, having children, and living happily ever after. It never occurred to that sweet, naive teenage girl that marriage could come with challenges but also encompass SO much more.
Fast forward to 12 years later and being married to my incredible husband of almost 7 years who along with the Lord has taught me a lot about the institution of marriage. At one point in my life marriage was something that had a skewed view, was unsafe, and did not represent what God intended it to be. Although God rescued me from that marriage and started to restore my view, it still took time for me to fully recognize that marriage is an extension of Christ’s love for us and a vessel for us to glorify Him.
Sweet friend marriage is a beautiful God-given gift to us that can bring about so much joy and fruit, but it also involves hard work, sacrifice, and choosing to be intentional with our time, words, and choices. When we enter marriage with a heart of selfishness, a demanding spirit, and an “it’s up to you to make me happy” perspective we are headed for a slippery slope of frustration, resentment, and un-fulfillment. The day I stood before my husband on our wedding day we made vows to one another for what our marriage would represent as husband and wife. We never promised to be perfect, to never upset one another, or to fulfill every single need of the other; that would be impossible. However, we did vow to love one another in a way that honored Jesus and showed others His love through us. Sweet friend that means even on the hard days we strive to honor Christ because in honoring Christ we will inevitably honor one another.
Each day I wake up I must make an intentional heart choice and effort to be a wife who loves my husband well and in a way that honors the Lord, then I pray for wisdom and help in what that tangibly looks like. Do the words I speak bring life and encouragement? Do I extend grace, patience, and forgiveness? Do I make edifying choices when I am apart from my spouse? Am I considerate of my husband in the financial purchases I make? Do I let pride hinder me from admitting my wrong-doings? Do I pray daily for my husband regarding his spiritual/physical/emotional health? Does the way I interact with my husband around others; especially my son reflect a Christ-centered marriage? These are just a few of the ways the Lord has been challenging me and growing me in my role as a wife.
Sweet friend so many individuals believe marriage is one of those things that will complete them but our spouse was never intended to complete us, only Jesus Christ can do that. Instead, our spouse was made to compliment us, partner with us, and sharpen us. A dear sweet mentor of mine said that when it came to praying for her son and his new wife she would pray for them to be greater together for the kingdom of God than they ever could have been separate; what a powerful prayer. What if that is how every believer looked at the union of marriage? The night my husband proposed he made it known that he was inviting me to partner with him in living a life of loving and serving Jesus together and this has been our continued shared goal/prayer in marriage. We still have plenty of days where we fall short but with God’s grace, we press on. We know our marriage is a gift that provides personal intimacy, partnership, laughter, and the gift of children but it also gives us the unique opportunity to grow, serve, and reflect the love of Christ in ways we may not have had as single individuals. Sweet friend, I don’t know what type of marriage you have but I know this, the Lord desires nothing more than to be present in it and for it to honor Him and bear fruit. God designed marriage for a divine purpose but unfortunately, the devil is against anything designed by God. Prayer is one of our most powerful weapons in a marriage that we MUST utilize and not underestimate. When it comes to praying for your marriage, your spouse’s heart/needs, your heart/needs, be intentional about it. Pray specifically for what your marriage is lacking, what needs to be eliminated from it, for protection against it, but most importantly that God would be at the CENTER. Pray individually and together, if your spouse is willing. Pray and speak scripture over your marriage/spouse and ask God for strength to be persistent even when you become weary, frustrated, or indifferent (1 Thessalonians 5:17-8).
As someone who previously experienced a marriage full of fear, shame, abuse, and brokenness I am aware that not every marriage is safe and healthy. Sweet friend if you or someone you know is in a dangerous marriage please reach out to a trusted family member/friend, church member, or preferably a Godly counselor who can assist. Having experienced both ends of the spectrum of marriage I desire nothing more than for every marriage to be filled with the Spirit of the Lord; where both husband and wife experience the sweet taste of what God intended marriage to be and for His love and the love for one another to abound (Philippians 1:9) inside and outside the walls of their home.
RESOURCES:
Comments